10:01:54 Well, good morning, everyone. Welcome to another technique. Alliance Massachusetts study session and this morning we are very pleased.
10:02:04 To have a very expert guest on on the aging process. Melissa Donegan who is a licensed social worker and director of healthy aging center for excellence.
10:02:17 Located at Hspien, which is an aging service access point and area agency. Based in the, family but has programs that actually serve the entire commonwealth in other parts of the country.
10:02:36 This morning we are recording this session and capturing it. And after Sue Rock wrote this her thing, it will be posted on that website with them.
10:02:48 Any other related material? And. This is going to be an interactive session.
10:02:55 And if you'd like to, have, make a comment or ask a question. You know, we, we'd ask you to, raise your hand, either electronically by going to the reaction button and pressing on that and and then raise your hand or if you participating by telephone star 9 to raise your hand and then start 9 to lower.
10:03:19 Some. With that no further ado I will turn it over to Melissa.
10:03:26 Thank you. Good morning, everybody. Thank you for having me here today. I'm going to share my screen.
10:03:32 And This will be interactive and it's not an overly huge group so I'm fine.
10:03:42 You know we can use the chat or I'm fine if folks want to at certain points. When I ask questions, you can feel free to unmute yourself and shout out so And thank you, Paul, and thanks for inviting me here today.
10:03:57 So I am the director of the Healthy Living Center at HP and we offer, many evidence-based programs, healthy living, evidence-based programs in the community we might partner with many of you and we're also getting into a lot of health equity work.
10:04:14 Social isolation, loneliness, food security, and I have been a reframing aging facilitator now for almost 4 years.
10:04:24 So that work, is really, taking up a lot of my time lately.
10:04:30 So I do work for age span. I don't work. I am a certified trainer through the National Center to reframe aging and this is a project that I work very closely with point 32 health as part of their age friendly work, but I am not an employee of the, national center to reframe aging or point 32 health.
10:04:55 So I just want to set the stage here even though, Paul, thank you sort of an expert.
10:05:03 We'll, use that term with air quotes. Very loosely. So this is a large part of my job and I will say, aging, agism is always on my mind.
10:05:14 So I'm constantly thinking about it, talking about it, but I am in no way. Perfect at this yet and I don't think I ever will be.
10:05:24 So how many of you have ever said to somebody? Wow, you look good for your age. You're 80?
10:05:30 What? Or lied about your age. Maybe, you know. 20, you know what I did for a while every time my friends and I had a birthday, 29 again, 29 again, right?
10:05:42 Nope, I just had a birthday 2 weeks ago and I don't care. I said I said my age or thought I'm too old to try that I'm too old up that ship has passed I wish I did that when I could.
10:05:56 I should have one I could, right? So my point is I wanna, you know, put it out there now that we all have implicit bias and that age, agism is a very normalized discrimination and it is still normalized and it has been normalized.
10:06:17 Our entire lives. And so this is something that you know, we have just lived with.
10:06:24 And it just shows up in many ways. So I wanna just put this up front. I want everyone to have an open mind and not feel guilty about anything we're going to talk about.
10:06:34 My boss, likes to say she's a recovering agist. And I like that because I'm working still at this every single day.
10:06:43 So what is the reframing aging initiative? So this is a social change endeavor.
10:06:50 This started in 2,014 the Frameworks Institute they've done a lot of research on other social change efforts as well.
10:07:02 They took to America to the streets. They bought brought groups together and they did research on how average Americans, how the American public views aging.
10:07:14 And they did this research over the course of 5 years and towards the end of it they built a training to train aging professionals.
10:07:25 On how we could then go out, train our fellow colleagues and also the public. On really how we need to shift away that we view aging in this country and then how that can then change, and then how that can then change, you know, communities and policy and, and all of that.
10:07:44 And this is an ongoing social change endeavor because there is a lot of work to do. So of course Massachusetts, you know, we are lucky that we're usually, fairly ahead, especially when it comes to working with older adults and wanting to support older adults.
10:08:04 So point 32 health really all of the New England states are involved. So there's about 20 states involved with this and just over 100 facilitators trained in the country.
10:08:16 So today really at the root of reframing aging is HSM. So we're going to talk about that, what it looks like.
10:08:24 Talk about what the public thinks of aging. We're gonna talk a little bit about what ages and looks like in health care and policy.
10:08:33 And then we're gonna talk about, okay, that's what it looks like now though. How can we move forward?
10:08:37 What does it look like to reframe aging and why does it matter? All right, so what is agism?
10:08:45 So how many of you have even heard that term and I'm not gonna call on the class, but if I asked you to define it, how many of you would be able to say yes, I know exactly how to define that.
10:08:58 A lot of people know. Yeah, awesome. So I like the World Health Organization. Definition.
10:09:08 So prejudice, discrimination, and stereotypes. Towards ourselves or others so ourselves, right, or others based on age.
10:09:19 So this is actually at any age, right? So younger folks can definitely face. Discrimination based on age but the reframing aging initiative and the work I do is really focused on older adults.
10:09:33 And what I find fascinating is that actually this this term ageism was coined back in 1969 by Dr.
10:09:42 Robert Butler and he's a mentor to a lot of folks who were doing work these days. Dr.
10:09:47 Becka Levy, out of Yale, Ashton Apple White, who if you love, you know, really getting into reading books and blogs and listening to things about ages.
10:10:00 And you might know those names. He was a mentor to them and back in 1,969 he already saw that you know the social needs and rights of older adults.
10:10:11 Were not being met and he was the the founder of the national institute on aging and so What's interesting, about ages is that it is considered, you know, a less a less serious form of discrimination.
10:10:30 And it's something that we either have all, a less serious form of discrimination. And it's something that we either have all experienced or we eventually all will experience.
10:10:36 And it's so normalized. And it is something. That we do to ourselves. Which is different than other isms as well.
10:10:46 And I'm glad it's really starting to get, a lot of attention in the.
10:10:53 Diversity, equity and inclusion space. So I've been involved in some panels, you know, where there's folks there from black and brown communities the disability community LGBT communities and then I'll be there you know representing ages them which I think is really really great.
10:11:09 And if you see here, we made some pins. I wear mine every day. I have them in my car and my purse, aging, so cool, everyone's doing it.
10:11:19 Because it's the one thing we all have in common, right? If any of you would like any of these pins, I just ordered another 1,000 of them.
10:11:28 I'm going to be sharing my contact information at the end of this. So you can shoot me an email with how many you want and where to mail them and I'll send a bunch out to you.
10:11:38 So there are 3 main types of ages. So institutional agism. This is, aism that we see embedded into laws, policies, social norms, rules.
10:11:52 And then there's interpersonal ageism that occurs in between individuals. And then self directed ages.
10:12:02 So this is, because again, we've had this repeated and early exposure to all of these ages messages.
10:12:11 And it really, it modifies our own behavior. And our own thinking. So we are self imposing this, you know, onto ourselves.
10:12:22 Again, I'm too old to try that. You know, these self-limiting beliefs. So we can really limit our own potential, you know, as we age.
10:12:29 So think about that as you listen to all this today because we not only need to change the way we view aging to better our communities and to better support older adults.
10:12:42 But we also need to look inwards and say, wow, how do I view the way I'm gonna age or how I'm aging and how I'm viewing that for myself.
10:12:52 So we really have 2 jobs. So I also like pretty early on to talk about intersectionality. Because all of these systemic issues you know, systemic racism, inequalities, etc.
10:13:10 All of these things lead to health disparities. Lived experience, social determinants of health. All of these things.
10:13:18 Are going to factor in to how well someone ages. So there's a lot of othering. When we saw this research, there was a, there's literally a video that, we were shown and it said, well, you know, if they had only saved for retirement, if they had only exercised and taken better care of themselves, if they had only eaten better, they wouldn't be in this
10:13:48 position. But we have to think all of these things here. Really feed into either oppression or privilege.
10:13:55 When it comes to how well someone's gonna age. And so, you know, the single mom that had to work 3 jobs, how is she going to save for retirement?
10:14:06 Or the gay man who didn't seek out preventative health care because he had a fear of being discriminated against.
10:14:15 Or the family that lived in an urban environment and only had the local Bodega to shop at that had no fresh fruits and vegetables.
10:14:24 Right? So you can see how these layers feed upon one another. And we are not, you know, creating systems.
10:14:34 That are all gonna lead us to the same outcomes. And so we're not all here equally and then some of us are just, you know, not making awesome decisions.
10:14:45 And I also do not like the term successful aging. I like aging well.
10:14:53 Alright, so let's get into it. What does it look like every day? What are we bombarded with.
10:15:00 So jokes about getting old. Okay, so this is how normalized this is. We can just go up to somebody and make a joke about them, right?
10:15:09 Right to their face about getting old. And we say these things to ourselves. I was just with a group of my old, my college roommates this weekend and I said, listen, you don't want me being Debbie Downer all weekend.
10:15:24 Let's stop with the with all the stuff about how old we are and we can't see this and oh my god I can't do that.
10:15:30 Let's stop. But you know, senior moment. We say all of these things, but.
10:15:38 Plenty of people forget things, right? At any age. I have a 16 year old son. He can't get out of his own way and he forgets where everything is.
10:15:46 So it has nothing to do with age. So I just went to a webinar few weeks ago and it was the title of it was jokes about getting older getting old and I loved that.
10:15:57 How about this birthday card here? Another year older hip hip hooray and they crossed out hurray and it said replacement.
10:16:04 Right? We're not celebrating birthdays. You know, again, people don't want to say how old they are.
10:16:11 They don't even want to know, anyone to know it's their birthday. But I think birthday should be celebrated.
10:16:17 You know, aging is a privilege that not everyone gets. So there are some, Some card companies now, mostly small businesses that are making birthday cards that celebrate aging that aren't you know making fun of it and they're not strewn with jokes and you know messages that aging is something to avoid.
10:16:42 Changing the narrative Colorado if you just Google that changing the narrative CEO they are a wonderful website they Colorado is doing excellent work around agism and reframing aging.
10:16:56 They have had now 2 contests for folks who create birthday cards and stationary companies. And they sell beautiful beautiful birthday cards on their website, that, celebrate aging.
10:17:13 And I just think that is, that is so awesome. Yeah over the hill all of that
10:17:19 So this is another one. And this is another one I'm guilty of. So I've worked here at age span.
10:17:25 March will make 20 years. And when I started here, I was a case manager and I can remember going out into the field and when I would walk into my consumers homes.
10:17:36 My voice went up. I changed the tone, the volume, the way I was speaking to people. Right?
10:17:44 So we call this elder speak. So, pet names, calling older adults, really, infantilizing them.
10:17:52 Judy, sweetie, honey, dairy. Calling them young man or young lady and again, we, the aging field can be very ageist without realizing it.
10:18:05 I've gone to a lot of senior. And, assisted livings and adult day health to do these presentations and the staff go oh my god I do this all the time okay it's okay you didn't mean to be now we're just gonna do better now that we know better we're gonna do better.
10:18:22 But I also do these presentations to older adults. And I say, you need to call that out.
10:18:31 When somebody speaks to you that way and you don't like it, what do you do? And they say, oh, I don't do anything.
10:18:37 Well, you, you can call it out as impolite and you can say, you know, I prefer to be called Melissa or Mrs. Don again.
10:18:49 Because this can really cause stress. And you know, it can really, make them feel, you know, at one of the, assisted livings I went to, there was a gentleman who was a college professor and he said to me, you know, sometimes I just feel invisible, like I'm an idiot.
10:19:08 And here he was just probably, you know, this brilliant man. So we really have to think about who we're speaking to.
10:19:15 And how that's making them feel.
10:19:19 Alright, so the beauty industry, so women and those who identify as women are really the ones who who suffer here.
10:19:29 Can anyone make a guess on in 2,023 what the beauty industry is going to make this year.
10:19:36 Dollar in dollars.
10:19:45 93 billion dollars. 93 billion dollars. So, you know, women are taught at a very early age that our our value and our worth is based on how we look and our youthfulness, right?
10:20:04 And so this is, you know, as we're aging, this is something that it's a battle.
10:20:12 It's a battle to age. And it's seen, you know, aging is seen as undesirable.
10:20:18 And so there's that comment in the beginning, you look good for your age. You know, that translation equals old people are ugly, right?
10:20:29 But we really, you know, we want to send the message. Agent doesn't need correction or intervention.
10:20:35 And you know, there's a lot of celebrities now, Jamie Lee Curtis, you know, Pamela Anderson.
10:20:44 I don't know if you, any of you remember Pam Anderson from Baywatch. She was just a couple months ago at Paris Fashion Week and she didn't wear makeup and it was like this big.
10:20:53 Story. But I think it, it was really, really powerful. And I saw an interview with her about it and I just thought it was so it was so awesome when you know somebody a public figure like that it makes a statement like that you know it makes other women feel more comfortable.
10:21:15 Also I think it was 2 summers ago. There was a Canadian, newscaster.
10:21:22 Kelly Laflamme, she had worked on this news station for 35 years. And she stopped dying her hair.
10:21:30 And she was fired and there were 3 women on the board older than her who all voted to fire her.
10:21:38 And you know there was some outrage which you know that made me very happy and then the queen died shortly after and another station picked her up for exclusive access to cover the queen's death.
10:21:53 So I thought that was a ha. Alright, so the hundredth day of school, I don't know how many of you have school age children in your life.
10:22:02 But elementary schools for the hundredth day of school the staff and the children will celebrate by dressing up as centenarian.
10:22:11 So anyone see anything wrong with this picture? You can unmute or use the chat. Anything wrong or if you got the message home, is this how you would send your child?
10:22:29 I don't think all schools. Do it that way. Cause when my kids went, they had the hundredth day of school, but I never noticed any of this old, you know, old age stuff.
10:22:40 It was just, oh, it's been a hundred days. No, it probably has morphed to that.
10:22:40 Yeah. Yup, no they don't all do it.
10:22:46 Yeah.
10:22:46 Yeah, they don't all do it, but many of them do. My kids school did it.
10:22:52 So my son just had to bring in a hundred of an object. My daughter did did do the dressing up as a centenarian.
10:23:00 So many times this is how you're seeing the children, okay? And so what the mind believes the body is going to embrace.
10:23:10 And so again, We have been fed these messages, right? But plenty of centenarians are still out and about doing their hobbies, volunteering, painting, reading, right?
10:23:24 And so what's meant to be fun. Is really demeaning and really disrespectful.
10:23:31 And there was a lot of campaigns the last few years because this happens all over the country. And so there was some reframing aging groups, you know, we sort of got together, and worked on campaigns on how we could reach out to our local elementary schools to sort of say if you still want to do this.
10:23:52 Let's think of a way to be respectful and celebratory. The contributions of older adults rather than showing them, you know, hunched over aches and pains.
10:24:04 And showing them in a weak way. Cause again, these ages thoughts. Are showing up in childhood.
10:24:12 And aging is very, very individual, you know, so if you worked with older adults, you know if you have met 1 80 year old, you've met 1 80 year old, right?
10:24:25 Older adults are living longer, staying active in their communities. But the public, when they think of older adults, This is what they think of that retirement and life of leisure or they're in a nursing home and they're getting ready to die.
10:24:41 This is what the public thinks. They don't think about all the people sort of in between here or you know what else is going on.
10:24:51 So, you know, they just think it's sort of, there's these milestones and that's all there is.
10:24:57 So there's a lot of stereotypes and dated expectations of what we're thinking.
10:25:03 And it really negatively impacts older adults. And again, it leads to self-limiting beliefs and it can and we're really we don't want to think about you know end of life care one of my friends is becoming a death duo, end of life care.
10:25:21 One of my friends is becoming a death, you know, end of life care. One of my friends is becoming a death, and, you know, we were out one night and all my other friends, oh my god, I don't even want to think about death.
10:25:30 And, you know, we were out one night and all my other friends, oh my god, I don't even want to think about death.
10:25:45 And it's like the 2 of us, you know, me being a social kind of factors into that stuff.
10:25:45 And we know again, just the public discourse during COVID, you know, it was looked at as an old person's disease.
10:25:53 And older adults were, you know, really, not valued during this time and social isolation and loneliness was just such.
10:26:02 A hot topic prior to the pandemic and you know older adults were Oh, thank you, Brianna.
10:26:12 Yes. So, ableism and agism. So Brianna put in the chat here and for the disability community assistive devices like Kes and wheelchairs are not costumes.
10:26:23 Thank you for pointing that out and You know, I don't talk about politics obviously during these, but I did see a political cartoon that showed, you know, many different politicians that are, you know, running for office, who are in office, and they were all using a walker.
10:26:41 And what what does that show people who use an assistive device that they can't run for office?
10:26:46 Have a job, right? So we really, there's a lot of ableism, really woven into a lot of this.
10:26:54 So thank you for sharing that, Brianna. Yes, so, you know, the pandemic, you know, really exposed agism.
10:27:04 You know, that was, that was really already happening and just the attitudes that we, can have towards older adults.
10:27:12 And so, the world health organization is doing tons of work, another great, great resource for ageism.
10:27:22 They're doing a lot of work, around this and they found that one in 2 people in the world as prejudiced towards older adults.
10:27:31 And you know, I've been sort of saying that we've been getting these messages at us, towards a young age, they found that in children as young as 4, they're already internalizing these negative stereotypes.
10:27:44 That our culture has towards aging. And 65% of older adults report experiencing ageism. So ages and healthcare, so this is an expensive problem that we have here.
10:28:00 So, roughly one in every $7 spent in healthcare, roughly 63 billion dollars, can be attributed to ageism.
10:28:10 And so how we think. Effects how we heal. So I mentioned Dr. Becka leave you before she is a professor at the Yale School of Public Health.
10:28:21 I'm going to share some book recommendations at the end of this. She wrote a book and she was part of a longevity study.
10:28:29 And it was fabulous. But she saw how studying this group of people, how agism leads to worse mental, physical, cognitive health.
10:28:43 In this group, she found that the folks that had a more positive outlook on aging.
10:28:51 It didn't mean that they didn't get sick. They didn't have losses. They didn't have chronic conditions.
10:28:56 It was how they adapted. How they reacted. They sought preventative health care, how their mind body connection was.
10:29:07 They lived 7 and a half years longer. Then their peers who had a negative outlook on aging.
10:29:17 It was just fascinating that study. And oh, Sue.
10:31:00 As you know the determining factor when when we're at the doctor. And so you know we really need to advocate for ourselves and doctors do not get a lot of training in geriatrics.
10:31:11 They're trained 3 times more in pediatrics. And I was in a webinar a few weeks ago and a woman shared that roughly half of fellowships and geriatrics every year.
10:31:23 Go on filled. And so, you know, that is sort of like a dying profession. And so there are doctors out there who are not understanding, you know, that dementia, falls, depression are not normal parts of aging.
10:31:38 Right. And so. I agree with you. And they just think, you know, depression, fatigue, chronic pain, all of these things are just normal.
10:31:47 So.
10:31:47 It's not it's not even just. You know, the treatment plans they come up with.
10:31:53 It's how they speak to people. I mean, I have examples for me personally. Wet them, you know.
10:31:58 Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, changing the narrative. Yeah, they did.
10:32:06 They have a nice, and they have some nice things when I do longer presentations I have several slides more about healthcare and and agism so I'd be happy to send a lot of that out to everybody so Yeah.
10:32:24 Yeah.
10:32:22 I guess that my question would be how do you react to that? I mean, I kind of. When what and then went home and I'm like should I write him a?
10:32:31 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know I have. So.
10:32:32 The letter and say, you know, teaching moment buddy, don't call me young lady. Don't ask me if I can follow directions, you know.
10:32:40 Yeah, yeah, so we have a I have like a little handout I can send you so it's like when the provider says this the patient can respond with that.
10:32:49 It's just you don't think of it in the moment, but you know, you get home.
10:32:51 No, and it is hard. It is hard, you know, when a lot of the self-management programs that we do, in the healthy living center and across the state.
10:33:00 A lot of it is. You know, this, really getting prepared for your visits, writing things down and advocating for yourself.
10:33:09 Cause that does happen in the moment. You know, you're the invisible patient. That because of your age, the elders speak face oversimplify things, they rush.
10:33:21 Yeah, so Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I can definitely send some of that out. Yeah.
10:33:24 Thank you.
10:33:30 You know, because aging is so misunderstood. That those misperceptions really create obstacles to.
10:33:42 You know, productive practices and policies and, you know, the housing, transportation, employment practices are not set up.
10:33:52 To support older adults. And luckily here, you know, in Massachusetts, age friendly, Massachusetts, the communities, you know, they're really doing tremendous work.
10:34:02 To try and create places where people can grow up and grow old. And you know I really hope that that is a model that can continue to grow and that can continue to, you know, expand into other communities across the country.
10:34:22 And that's why this is an ongoing endeavor. We really need to get Paul's in place that support us as we age.
10:34:30 And, you know, stop seeing that young is an investment in older adults are an expense, right?
10:34:39 Oh, there's another chat.
10:34:43 Oh, thank you, Brianna. Yeah, changing the narrative Colorado. Oh, did I miss something?
10:34:49 Yes, Laura, yeah, the book I'm gonna, share the book.
10:34:54 Okay.
10:34:57 Hmm, sorry about that. Okay. Yeah, so again, I mean, you know. Aging is not easy, right?
10:35:05 So there's physical. Cogitive health things that you know can can happen losses and so, you know, we're not trying to sugarcoat things, but, it, it is and how we react to it.
10:35:21 And so that's really what we're trying to show the public and older adults themselves and how we're gonna think about aging.
10:35:29 And so we really want to, you know, try to make these shifts. So a lot of what the research showed.
10:35:38 Was about words and how words matter. So when you see this word, what do you think? What comes to your mind?
10:35:51 Soda.
10:35:53 So yeah.
10:35:55 Grandpa.
10:35:56 Grandpa, yeah, Grandpa or Dad, yeah.
10:35:59 Yeah.
10:36:00 Music.
10:36:02 Yeah, pop music. Yeah.
10:36:11 Use the chat too. That's more comfortable.
10:36:19 Yeah, yeah.
10:36:18 Sound Pup.
10:36:26 It's not meant to be a joke, but, There's a few elders that I've dealt with that That came to mind that they use that sound Oh, I felt something pop.
10:36:37 Sorry.
10:36:36 Yeah, you know what? That's fine. I've heard someone say my knee and I'm like, yeah, my knee pops like up and down the stairs from my days of ballet.
10:36:48 Yeah, so I've heard popcorn, firework, champagne, baseball, like a pot fly, right?
10:36:56 So popcorn, I don't know if I already said that one, a balloon, right?
10:36:59 So you can see how this one word can elicit like our brains just go there, right? Really quick.
10:37:06 Our brains just automatically might think of a word. And so The point of that is that We might say something perfectly reasonable about older adults because we work with them, but it might elicit a completely different response from the public.
10:37:26 Because you know they're a different audience and they don't work with older adults like we do.
10:37:30 And so because of that implicit bias, because of these shortcuts, so anthropologists call them cultural models.
10:37:39 We have had to adapt to take in this information so quick. And that is what, you know, sort of our brains go to really quick.
10:37:50 No stereotypes and we need to learn more. We need to learn about what to say and what to avoid when we are giving messages.
10:38:02 When we're talking about older people, because we want to channel people to go in a more productive way rather than more negative.
10:38:12 And we want to show older adults more accurately, more complete. We want to change our conversations because we want to shift the way the public is thinking about aging.
10:38:24 We don't want them thinking about that slide of either you're on the beach or you're in a nursing home because we know there's a lot more in between, right?
10:38:33 So this is again. This is what the research mapped. These are the gaps between how the aging field sees aging and what the public thinks.
10:38:45 So how should we approach aging? We want to embrace it, right? It's coming.
10:38:50 We're all aging. Let's embrace it, but the public. Again, they see it as a battle.
10:38:55 They don't want to deal with it. That's their problem because I'm not there yet.
10:39:01 What determines outcomes and who was responsible us, we know environments matter, social determinants of health, lived experience.
10:39:10 But the public, they see it as the individual. It's on them. If they didn't plan, if they didn't do this, if they didn't do that, that's their problem.
10:39:18 It's not my problem.
10:39:21 How big of a concern is ageism? Well, we know what's an important concern. We know it's an important concern because it leads to poor health outcomes.
10:39:32 Bad economics. It, there's a lot. There's a lot. The public they don't know what ages them is they don't know what's a problem They think everyone's being too sensitive these days.
10:39:46 What can be done to ensure well being an older age? Well, we know there's plenty in the public.
10:39:53 I mean, the videos, you know, that were done with this research. I mean, you know, people literally say nothing, nothing much.
10:40:03 And what is the role of public policy? I mean, we know that it's central and that there's plenty that can be done and the public sees it as a limited role.
10:40:12 So what can you all do? What can we do? Today, tomorrow, ongoing to start this.
10:40:20 So again, words matter. So avoiding they and them pronouns and looking. At older people as other.
10:40:29 And so using as we age, so we're better off as being inclusive. And so, you know, looking at your marketing, your website, when you're writing grants, when you're talking about the work you do, you know, saying as we age, you know, think, you know, the age friendly Massachusetts work.
10:40:50 Extra curb cutouts. Good for people with wheelchairs. Good for folks who can't step off the curb.
10:40:57 Also good for moms with strollers, right? Extra benches good for people who need a break good first social isolation so you can have a conversation green spaces, more bus stops, etc.
10:41:11 The crisis talk, I mean, you know, think about when boomers were coming of age, the silver tsunami, the gray wave, I mean, we are associating a group with natural disasters.
10:41:22 So really stopping that. And you know, when we're talking about the growing number of older adults that are coming up, aging is living or as we live as Americans are living longer and healthier lives.
10:41:37 Alright, so the next one, I don't wanna be the word police, but again, this is what the research showed.
10:41:44 So it showed elder elderly senior senior citizens. That more negative responses. From the public. So when they saw those words, their brains went to, frail.
10:41:59 Deterioration. Dependent. That, you know, those kind of responses. And when they saw older people, older, older Americans, more neutral terms, they had a much more positive reaction.
10:42:16 So, you know, again, many people I've been in senior centers and people say, I don't mind coming here that it's called the senior center.
10:42:26 I don't mind asking for my senior citizen discount when I'm out. That doesn't bother me.
10:42:31 Totally fine. Think in some cultures, elder. Is of utmost respect, right?
10:42:38 So you really just have to sort of think about, you know, the context that you're in.
10:42:44 I know my organization, H span, we were formerly elder services of the Merrimack Valley.
10:42:50 You know, we did change our name not only just to be more inclusive of, you know, the population that we're serving.
10:42:57 And so you know that one can kind of you know, get some discussions going when I bring that one up.
10:43:07 So again, I don't, oh, okay. Yeah, Paul.
10:43:07 No, no, no, it's Paul. I've I often, you know, think of the word elder.
10:43:19 Yeah.
10:43:17 As a term of respect, but I think using a elderly as a . an adjective, I think that's what's the meaning.
10:43:27 Yeah. Yeah.
10:43:33 Cool.
10:43:27 So we can all, we can all be elders but to consider L is the minute. I just saw in the chat from my own Dapolo about the state we consider changing language.
10:43:40 And actually the executive office of Elders right now is. Working on a rebranding name chain.
10:43:45 Yup. Yes, yes they are.
10:43:49 So that should be. Just as the mass rehab commission recently. Rebranded itself as mass abilities.
10:43:55 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Great point. Yes, they are. Yep.
10:44:02 I just did this talk at the mass councils on aging. Conference and somebody from EOA, was came up to me after and said they're working on a name change.
10:44:12 Again only focusing on the negative so again you know In addition, you know, yes, there are challenges that come with aging, but let's focus on the positive story and the shared knowledge and contributions that older adults can give and not just another is and we never want to compare isms at all.
10:44:33 But what is agism? Define it. How does it work? What is it?
10:44:37 Letting people know.
10:44:39 Alright, so, I want to tell you a little story here before we wrap up about an example of really showcasing how people can show have their momentum and let's let's really show an accurate and complete story on aging here so this woman on the left this is Ernestine Shepherd.
10:45:04 She is, 87 and she is a body builder. She's out of the Maryland area.
10:45:11 I, she was actually a keynote speaker at a conference. I went to, she is a fitness instructor.
10:45:16 I follow her on Facebook. She's super energetic. She does walking clubs. She's just a ray of sunshine.
10:45:26 I love following her. She was so positive. And the conference that I saw her in you know she's sort of like that super senior that we think about you know people jumping out of a plane on their ninetieth birthday so she is she's great and then here on the right this is Helen Fraser so Helen is just a year older than Ernest.
10:45:53 So Helen Fraser. So Helen Fraser. So Helen is just a year older than Ernestine.
10:45:56 And Helen was living with dementia at an assisted living in Bedford, New Hampshire and she sadly just passed away in March.
10:46:01 She was my meme and she was having a rough time getting settled at her assisted living. She called my mom every day and said, come pick me up from the nursing home you left me at.
10:46:14 And one of the activities they did shortly after she got there was they made gingerbread houses for Christmas and they were using piping bags.
10:46:25 So in the bottom picture there with the pink frosting, that's a piping bag.
10:46:28 So she quickly took over the project because nobody was doing it right. And, helped everybody. They all came out beautiful.
10:46:37 So the staff called my mom that night and said, we just want to let you know what a good day your mom had and my gosh she made the most beautiful gingerbread houses.
10:46:47 My mom said well yeah she owned her own wedding cake business for 40 years. So they decided that my meme was gonna be the cake decorator at her assisted living.
10:46:59 Okay.
10:46:57 So every holiday birthday, retirement, Mardi Gras didn't matter. Mardi Gras was the last cake she made before she died.
10:47:05 The chef would make her whatever flavor, size, whatever kind of cake she wanted and they would set her up in the dining room.
10:47:14 She would decorate it. This is her making a Valentine's Day cake and then everyone would enjoy it that day at lunch.
10:47:19 And so this is really about promoting the diversity and even face with challenges people can still contribute and you know it doesn't matter that people are frail.
10:47:35 Right? We can still. Let them live with their autonomy. Regardless of their ability.
10:47:43 So this is a great way. You would look at these 2 women. The public might look at them and say, oh my god, they're only a year apart.
10:47:49 Go, Ernestine, she took care of herself. I don't know about Helen.
10:47:51 But thank gosh, my meme was in an environment where they said, okay, you know what? Let's let her contribute to this community any way she can.
10:48:03 So what's next? Again, let's try to shift our thinking to aging it as an opportunity.
10:48:10 Let's educate people. So integrate. Ageism into conversations and not avoid talking about aging.
10:48:19 And again, I urge you to personally reflect about how you think about aging. This becoming a reframing aging facilitator was very eye opening for me.
10:48:29 You know, like I said, I've worked here a long time, but that definitely helped me.
10:48:35 Really support the work I'm doing better out of my community and here at age spam. We definitely need more policies and more communities that are going to support.
10:48:46 Our well-being as we're aging so we can age in place where we want to be and really tell people that environments matter.
10:48:55 And you know more research and we can agism is a problem that can be solved. And so, you know, jot some things down if you want to throw some things in the chat, I see that there's a few chats here that I want to look at and I definitely wanted to leave some time for questions and answers and then I'll share some books.
10:49:15 And things like that. But you know, think about, you know, what are some things maybe you're already, you know, doing some things that you want to keep doing some, some advocacy or some things that, at work you're already doing, maybe some, ideas you got today that you're gonna start doing and I don't know, maybe you realize some things today that
10:49:36 you're doing that you might might need to stop. So if you feel comfortable for those in the chat or unmute yourself.
10:49:44 And let me. Yeah, so yeah, some senior centers are changing their name. Yeah. So here in Lawrence, they change their just the center now.
10:49:54 I wish I could remember some names I just heard at oh, Ernestine Shepherd was that woman's name.
10:50:25 Say one thing I'm listening to you speak and great presentation. I'm Isaiah Castillo.
10:50:32 I'm gonna protect the service worker. One thing that, that you mentioned, and I find myself doing it a lot.
10:50:37 It's that, especially when I'm speaking to a family member. I always refer to the elder as the older.
10:50:43 Hmm.
10:50:44 Sometimes we do get a lot of cases and it's tough to remember everybody's name.
10:50:48 Yeah.
10:50:49 So it's easy even when we're writing notes, we abbreviated to just a simple E.
10:50:54 Yeah.
10:50:55 And also, I need to change that. When you say, what we gotta start doing, I need to make sure that, that I don't refer to them as elder.
10:50:57 Yeah.
10:51:02 Yeah. Yeah.
10:51:02 Especially to their family members, you know. And also another thing is when we tried to explain that We work with, adults 60 to one over.
10:51:15 In some cases, 60 and over. I find it during my years of working, in this field that you know, we also need to stop doing that.
10:51:27 We also just need to say we work with adults, that may need help. Because once you put that age It kind of puts them in a in a group.
10:51:37 And they just, you know, sometimes it could be the most wonderful. Person and they feel juvenile and they feel great and and full of energy and full of life.
10:51:47 And then you got to remind them, oh yeah, we're working with people 60 and over, right?
10:51:50 Yup. Yup. Yes. Yeah.
10:51:51 So that kind of you know going going back to what you were saying that pops the balloon.
10:51:57 Yeah.
10:51:56 Yeah, yeah, the center for reframing aging put out a guide for journalists and people in the communications field and 1 point they made was do not include age unless it is absolutely necessary.
10:52:12 To the story, to whatever you're trying to portray. Just leave age out of it. There's no need to say, you know, the age of the person or of the group or whatever.
10:52:24 Unless absolutely necessary. You know, and you just sort of reminded me, when I was a case manager, you know, or you're at the doctor.
10:52:37 Think about, you know, again, being that invisible patient when a caregiver is either at a home visit or at the doctor.
10:52:43 Who's getting spoken to the patient or the older adult? No. We're always talking to the other person, right?
10:52:52 So that's something else to be mindful of. Paul?
10:52:54 One thing that I've always found by putting is when a younger person, especially, well, any younger person, but if they're in a caregiving role, for example.
10:53:05 Presumes that they have permission to call that older person by the first name without asking.
10:53:11 Hmm.
10:53:11 And I think that We should all say, You know, ask for permission or just use their surnames until, you're given, clearance to do otherwise.
10:53:24 Yeah, absolutely. I think that's a really good idea. Even just for anyone just to say, you know, what would you like me to call you?
10:53:33 Not assume people like to be called by nicknames. Yeah, that's, really good.
10:53:40 Alright, Olivia?
10:53:45 Hi, I think I've tended to notice, I've worked with older adults.
10:53:49 I've worked with homeless communities. I've, you know, and one thing I've noticed in my short few years of working is that in both cases people really tend to say things like oh wow you must have so much patience or wow you're really doing most of amazing work and I it always made me really uncomfortable and I think I these conversations that we've had or I've gotten to have over time I've really maybe
10:54:20 Hmm.
10:54:14 realized because it really reels how the general public is so othering of these communities. And kind of wanting to say like, no, it really isn't any type of, it isn't special, like it's not that special.
10:54:26 Yeah. Yeah.
10:54:27 Like I think I think it's special because I love doing it but like It's not it's you could do it too and you should do it too.
10:54:35 Yeah.
10:54:44 Yeah. Yeah.
10:54:36 And people kind of like I think putting that on you. So that maybe they don't feel like, oh, I as guilty about it, but, it's, it's a really interesting phenomenon that I've started to notice, and like the similarities.
10:54:52 Between those 2 fields as other communities.
10:54:50 Yeah. Yeah, and a lot of people ask me, during these presentations, you know, if they say, well, how do I start calling this out?
10:55:01 Because that's really uncomfortable. Or how do I respond? And I say usually for me is asking questions.
10:55:10 Yeah, yeah.
10:55:07 Why do you say that? What makes you say that? You know, and then you're like, what do you mean?
10:55:14 Right.
10:55:13 What did I just say? You know, sometimes that can, you know.
10:55:18 Right, or even I feel like sometimes can cause like the for people to be really defensive. You know, like, feeling like they've done something wrong and or especially when it's internalized.
10:55:30 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
10:55:33 So that can be hard.
10:55:38 Okay. I'm gonna read Nan's, comment and then I'm gonna go on to my next slide.
10:55:43 So Nian is saying about reverse ages, when somebody is still working, for example, like something that's out of the ordinary, the perceived norm and it says, you know, for example, he's 87 and he's still working.
10:55:59 I would like us to abolish the word still and yes I didn't specifically say that but absolutely it's interesting we do a column our CEO writes a column and I take a peek at it before it goes to the newspaper.
10:56:13 Something similar to that. Yes, so not like, oh my gosh, she's still driving. She's still volunteering.
10:56:21 You know, she's still doing this. Yeah, no, they are doing it, right?
10:56:26 Great point, Nan. Thanks for pointing that out. Alright, so here are some resources I'm gonna share with you so the center for reframing aging has a really great website they share, research, podcasts, events.
10:56:42 Just different resources on there. It's really, really great. They have short little video clips.
10:56:47 I'm gonna send, I guess, Paul, should I send you anything to be sent to the group?
10:56:53 Okay. Okay.
10:56:51 Yeah. Yeah, yes, Melissa, send it to me and we'll both post it on our website and we'll include it in an upcoming digest.
10:57:02 Okay. And they also have a Caribbean newsletter that you can sign up for.
10:57:06 They send it out once a month. Work that's being done advocacy all over the country on ageism, things like that.
10:57:15 Here's some book recommendations. I have all 3 of these books. I bought them on Amazon.
10:57:23 I'll share my slides too. So you have all of these, but these are some fabulous, I'll share my slides too, so you have all of these.
10:57:30 But, these are some fabulous, folks doing work, and breaking the age code.
10:57:31 That's the longevity study that I spoke about. Becca Levy is she's fabulous.
10:57:37 And I will leave you with this. This is sort of how we started, owning our implicit bias and really, you know, do the best until you know better.
10:57:48 Hmm.
10:57:47 And when you know better, do better. That's really all we can do because again, this has just been so normalized.
10:57:51 Our whole lives, right? And here's my contact information. Like I said, if you want, any of those pins.
10:58:01 You know, let me know if you, want more information if you ever want to chat.
10:58:08 I could talk about this all day. And so I'm always happy to, have conversations or presentations, with folks.
10:58:20 So anything you need, just let me know and yeah, I'll send, I have a infographic for reframing aging age span.
10:58:30 We just made like an agism sort of fact sheet. And so in my PowerPoint, I'll send that all to Paul.
10:58:36 And yeah, if you want pins. You can reach out to me and I'll mail them out to you.
10:58:39 Yeah.
10:58:43 Yeah.
10:58:42 So thank you so much for the invite, Paul, and I appreciate you all taking time today.
10:58:47 Well, thank you very much, Melissa. This has been both informative and. Very thought provoking.
10:58:55 And even though I've been involved in various ways with with aging. And all the folks for now over 50 years you've you've given me some new perspective too so I really appreciate that.
10:59:08 I also want to thank Cassie Kramer from the older adults. Behavioral health network who suggested Melissa to be a presenter in spite of our dignity.
10:59:20 Oh, it's a study sessions. As we've already indicated. Both this recording as well as on the material that Melissa has referenced will be posted, you know, shortly on the Digne Alliance ma.org.
10:59:38 Website. Our next, disability. The next then, the alliance, messages a study session.
10:59:49 Will, Look at the disability law center, which is a federally mandated organization focused on the protection and advocacy of all folks.
11:00:02 With various disabilities and they'll be looking at the litigation oversight and there's this systemic work and and we'll have Bob, but,alian who's the executive director and on the I think, alliance coordinating committee as well as Rick Lassman and Tatum Pritchard who are a director of advocacy and litigation at the at the center.
11:00:29 That will be on Wednesday, December thirteenth at 2 PM. And we'll watch all this information will be in the dignity digest which comes out every Tuesday as well as being on our website.
11:00:42 We have future study sessions now in process and and just mentioned the next one that we have after the December thirteenth will be with Dr.
11:00:54 Lisa Aizoni who is board member in the Massachusetts Department of Transportation representing the disability committee also an active member of dignity alliance and she she will be presenting in January and she's going to be around responding to people's questions and comments that will will ask for them ahead of time and start that should be a very informative session.
11:01:19 We're gonna thank everybody for participating in the session. If you have not been actively engaged.
11:01:27 In the past, with Dignity Alliance, in our bi-weekly zoom sessions or our work groups and we'd welcome your involvement.
11:01:35 Feel free to get in touch with us. Again, you go to the the alliance.
11:01:40 And, and, and, this links. To connect with us and. And all the information that, shared with us in the book references and and the other websites will be posted on our website.
11:01:59 So once again, thank you everybody. And, and, and age well and keep on living and, and we thank you well.